I swear. I don't know what I've done to piss them off, or why the hell I deserve such punishment, but the knitting gods are smiting me with every possible bit of bad luck they can manage. Let's take a look at my Stripy Sweater of Intimidation!
--The ribbing is 24 rows, 12 in color A and 12 in color B. I knit 12 in color A and 14 in color B. Not a terribly big deal, and I'm replicating that error on all the pieces. Kind of annoying that I cannot frigging count.
--I then realized that the stripes are supposed to be 20 rows wide. I'm knitting them 24 rows wide. Still not a big deal, as I'm just knitting them all 24 now. So my stripes are slightly wider. So what. Still pretty annoying that I cannot frigging count.
--Halfway through the back I realized that I cast on four stitches too few. DESPITE counting and re-counting, and counting again obsessively. I still fucked up, and not by just a stitch or two. By FOUR. How the hell did I miss FOUR stitches??? My inability to count is getting somewhat ridiculous.
--Finished the back, moved on to the left front. I apparently store my brain in my butt when I'm knitting, because I just kept knitting along after finishing the increases, in a happy little fog. Snapped out of it to realize that I've knitted two and a half stripes past where I should have started the armhole shaping. This is what happens when I knit and . . . well, when I just knit, sadly.
--Knit the right front. Realized when I was about to bind off that instead of knitting the right front, I've actually been knitting another LEFT front. Much screaming and swearing occurred, and there may or may not have been a childish temper-tantrum followed by me storming off to the kitchen for a fortifying drink of the alcoholic variety to steel myself to rip back to the armhole.
I'm at somewhat of a loss for how else exactly I can screw this thing up. But I'm sure there's a way.
Last night I just cast on for the first sleeve. Stay tuned for further adventures.