I've had my MacBook for 5 1/2 years now. It's been a very good five years, much better than that ill-conceived fling I had with an Averatec before then -- that relationship was volatile and especially toward the end was fulled with an ardent and completely mutual dislike for each other. I would mutter about it refusing to save my Word document, it would give me the blue screen of death (the computer's version of the middle finger.) I would call it a worthless piece of junk, it would throw part of its casing on the floor. At eleven months, just one month out of its warranty, the disc drive no longer worked, the battery wouldn't hold a charge, the AC adapter sometimes chose to not do its job, and the hard drive kept throwing errors and crashing so often that I would write my college papers in my email instead of in Word so that I had autosaved drafts of it. Oh, and parts of the casing, namely the joints that held the screen to the rest of the computer, started to fall off.
I probably asked for it, naming that poor bastard Robbie (after the robot in the first story of Asimov's I, Robot. And like his namesake, Robbie was slow and clumsy and rather outdated even just a year later.
I dumped him for a shiny new MacBook, whom I christened Mrs. Doodlepunk after one of my favorite books when I was little.
Watch Out, Mrs. Doodlepunk! is about a little girl called Mrs. Doodlepunk, and she is constantly annoyed by a neighborhood boy called Mr. Frizzboy. In one part of the book, he drops apples onto her head. So, apples... Apple computer... Mrs. Doodlepunk!
She has been a kind and loving computer over the years. Yes, it's true that she's been getting slower and slower, and her hard drive is completely full, and she can't handle Diablo III at all. But still she's been faithful to me, never once eating my papers or posts, never crashing, never destroying my data. She's just kept plugging away, and eventually we always got where we wanted to go, even if in her old age it does take her five minutes just to load iTunes.
So how do I repay all those years of loyalty? By replacing her with this:
Meet Mr. Frizzboy.
I just know we're going to be very happy together. Note the second blue sock cuff sitting beside him. Doesn't look like much? You'd be correct, sir! That's because most of my knitting time has been sucked up into this.
This is how far along I am on the Wash sweater. Doesn't look like a whole heck of a lot either, but that right there is 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. Yeah, for kicks I decided it would be a fun idea to track just how long this thing takes me to knit up. Clearly I have some masochistic tendencies. I'm about a quarter of the way through the cable pattern, so by my calculations (remember, I suck at math) that means that I've got another 12-14 hours and I'll be done with the back. And then I get to knit the front and both sleeves.
Jason better appreciate the hell out of this sweater.